I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
