My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize