Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
