You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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