We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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