i think my tv is drunk
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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