even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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