Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
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