Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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