At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
