Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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