he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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