I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
