Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
