i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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