Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
