after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
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I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
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I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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