not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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