Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
