She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
