I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I'm really busy with my period
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