GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
