i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
