so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize