I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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