We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
True college students do jello shots in the library
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