sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
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I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
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That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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