That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
