Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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