girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
