i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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