what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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