his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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