Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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