at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
