dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
