R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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