from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
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someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
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He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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