I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
