I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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