I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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