If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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