Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize