It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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