Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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