I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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