OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
