Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
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He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
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Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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