I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
