the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
