Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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