Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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