this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize