Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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