are you still at the devil's house?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
