Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone

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  (732): Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone http://tfl.nu/vmc1
  Replies (8) Good night (1866) Bad night (1276)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty

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  (609): i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty http://tfl.nu/sjep
  Replies (6) Good night (2697) Bad night (614)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".

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  (850): so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time". http://tfl.nu/gojq
  Replies (62) Good night (1120) Bad night (9068)
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  (310): View more from California

  I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.

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  (310): I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in. http://tfl.nu/n54h
  Replies (6) Good night (5891) Bad night (831)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...

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  (239): I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday... http://tfl.nu/23uc
  Replies (3) Good night (2727) Bad night (760)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you

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  (816): You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you http://tfl.nu/d6cu
  Replies (8) Good night (1054) Bad night (2903)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.

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  (785): That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do. http://tfl.nu/e7db
  Replies (12) Good night (3005) Bad night (607)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.

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  (617): Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it. http://tfl.nu/o2t5
  Replies (8) Good night (1497) Bad night (1069)
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  (949): View more from California

  I have no words

  (951): View more from California

  Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.

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  (949): I have no words (951): Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water. http://tfl.nu/wxcd
  Replies (19) Good night (1055) Bad night (2358)
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  (925): View more from California

  We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car

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  (925): We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car http://tfl.nu/ofum
  Replies (9) Good night (1867) Bad night (604)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.

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  (843): It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying. http://tfl.nu/4qy7
  Replies (3) Good night (980) Bad night (461)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.

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  (651): Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult. http://tfl.nu/x3id
  Replies (1) Good night (1593) Bad night (646)
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  (310): View more from California

  I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.

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  (310): I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/rytq
  Replies (5) Good night (653) Bad night (254)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.

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  (321): He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet. http://tfl.nu/4g47
  Replies (3) Good night (353) Bad night (217)
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  (323): View more from California

  Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"

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  (323): Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?" http://tfl.nu/dewe
  Replies (4) Good night (1105) Bad night (416)

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