Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.

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(415): View more from California

fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.

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(858): View more from California

he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order

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(541): View more from Oregon

If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(347): View more from New York

we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this

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(661): View more from California

May God have mercy on my new vibrator.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic

(414): View more from Wisconsin

USA! USA! USA!

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(641): View more from Iowa

But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday

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