Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test