hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".