it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We had to coat check the pizza.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
