i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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