you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
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I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just want nice things and good sex
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink