I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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