I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
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I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
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This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)