You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected