Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
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he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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