Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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