she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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