My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
