I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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