i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
